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Discipline Your Way to Order

Parents are in a state of burn-out today with all the responsibilities pulling at them. Outside of keeping dental or doctor's appointments, attending soccer or basketball games, piano lessons, parent-teacher conferences, homework and volunteering for the next field trip, parents also have household responsibilities that includes that pile of laundry overflowing like a volcanic eruption, bills waiting to be paid, groceries to be bought, dinner to be cooked, and as for that work-out you planned, well, maybe tomorrow. Is it any wonder that some are nearing a nervous breakdown with the load they have to carry? But they don't get to quit, even though there are days when they want to cry, “Uncle.”

I can remember times when my sanity was barely intact. I took some comfort in knowing that I was not the only frazzled parent when I saw friends and strangers trying to balance their hectic lives as well. We all feel that we have to do it all. But how do we achieve some sense of order in the midst of chaos?

One secret to maintaining our sanity and attaining more productivity in our day is discipline. Specifically, discipline over our time. Many people associate the word discipline with the correction of children, but discipline is also about achieving a state of order via training and control. In the scope of parenting and life, it is a retraining of how we do things.

Discipline can have a positive effect on our health mentally, emotionally, and physically. It can also change the way we interact with our family. With that said, the opposite can hold true as well. When there is a lack of discipline, we can experience confusion, frustration, and hopelessness due to a lack of progress, goals not being met, and living life without direction or meaning.

There is a great amount of energy being spent when we are running around barely having time to catch our breath. That same energy when channeled and directed correctly can be productive, giving us a sense of accomplishment, empowerment, and control. In fact, it actually takes more energy to manage chaos than it takes to keep our lives balanced.

Get Organized

When my children were all under the age of five, I felt like a circus act trying to keep all my plates spinning on those long poles as I ran frantically from one to the other making sure that none of them fell off. It was maddening. I wanted to do it all perfect and not fail. I have always been a type A personality. Some call it perfectionism. I was very hard on myself when I let a plate fall For me it meant that I was not good enough. That I failed. Today, I still have tasks to accomplish, but I no longer see myself as a circus act, nor do I beat myself over the head when I don't get it all done.

As parents, we don't need to be perfect, but we can be organized. This is the first step to achieving discipline in our lives. I learned that I had more to gain mentally, emotionally, and physically if I just took the time the evening before or early in the morning to make a list of my daily tasks and prioritize them in order of importance. This simple discipline improved my productivity by 20 percent or more and allowed me to have a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. It wasn't about getting it all done, but about feeling a sense of order. An added benefit was that it reduced the amount of stress I carried and cleared my head. 

Schedule Flexibility

Always leave enough wiggle room for tasks that may take longer than expected. Don't pack your day in so tightly that there is no room for expansion. The unexpected is bound to happen. We underestimate the amount of time a task will take and become flustered. Be realistic. Don't get discouraged when unexpected emergencies come up like when the school calls you to pick up a sick child or your car breaks down.

I remember when my youngest was at the age of potty training. I was avoiding it for as long as I could. Then one day my car had to go into the shop for some repairs. This left me homebound for a week unable to get to a list of to dos I had already planned. At first, I felt frustrated, but then I chose to see the positive side of things and decided there was no better time to potty train. I wasn't going anywhere anyways. By the end of the week, the car was fixed and my youngest was potty trained.

If we are ever going to survive parenthood, we need to learn to be flexible. We do ourselves a disfavor when our lives are too rigid. It causes undue stress not only for us but for our family as well. Life is challenging enough as it is, so learn to give yourself a break.

Look Into the Future

Not only is making a list for your daily lives essential to attaining a sense of order in your life, but setting goals is equally as important. Short or long term, life needs goals. It gives us purpose. Whether you set them for your child, your family, or for yourself, goals maximize the way you live your life. They provide a road map to the future and minimize wasted time.

One of the biggest reasons people fail the goals they set for themselves is that they are not realistic. Unrealistic goals only set you up for discouragement and disappointment. It also does little in moving you ahead in life. But the opposite can be just as harmful. If goals carry no challenge to them, you will soon become bored and just abandon them. It is essential that your objectives have some level of challenge to keep you motivated.

Think about it this way, when you begin a strength training program to build muscle mass you don't go out trying to lift 100 lbs. on the first day. You start small and build your way up. Conversely, if all you do is lift weights that are too easy for you, you will never increase the strength required to lift your goal weight, and you'll stop going to the gym

Your goal should also suit its time frame and attainability. Don't be over ambitious and set yourself up for failure. Again, start small and work your way up to more ambitious objectives. Attainability is key to staying motivated and keeping you on track.

Make a Commitment

Whether it is potty training, losing weight, or the next family trip, make a commitment by writing your goal down. When goals are not written down, you increase your chances of not accomplishing them because your mind has no real focus. You will have greater success by doing this simple act.

Rewarding Results

Discipline has many rewards. Not the least of them being peace of mind. Achieving a sense of order in a world that pulls you from every direction can leave you fulfilled and energized, and it can start by writing that first to do list. Discipline also teaches your child the importance of being organized Children do well with structure. It gives them a sense of security and lessens their anxiety. Parents are not the only ones that experience stress when life gets hectic but children do as well. As you implement these changes in your life, make it a family exercise that will reap many rewards. 

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